Catty Comments

Why can't Geena Davis dress herself?!

Or hire a stylist. Or do *something* so that for once, she's a smash hit on the red carpet. Was it at this year's Emmy's?

No!!!!! Lovely color, nice hair, but a dress designed to hit in all the wrong places - bunchy in the torso, flat, form-fitting and UNFORGIVING white satin in the hip area (hon, you're gorgeous, but your bod is no longer Uma Thurman's...), and too much fabric in the skirt. You know it's bad when it bunches, not drapes.

Oh, one more thing. STAND UPRIGHT! Jeezus, that slouch is sooooo unattractive.

Satin Dolls

Here, Marcia Cross and Debra Messing are having a satin-off contest - may the most yardage win! Actually I think Debra will get the nod here, as she seems about to explode out the of the sausage casing dress and splatter it all over poor helpless Marcia. Careful Debra - you could put someone's eye out with that.

How does she rate?

Here is beanbag-chair-lipped hag Barbara Hershey with her hot, hunky bf, Naveen Andrews of "Lost". Had I only known he preferred (much)older women, I could have saved him a lotta time, not to mention the hassle of having a high-maintenance actress to squire around. Sweetie, just think of the savings on Botox alone if you stick with me....and I just adore island life!

Flashback to the Eighties anyone?

The group Earth, Wind & Fire played at the Emmys, embarrassing themselves by altering the lyrics of one of their best known songs to mention Emmy-nominated shows and Michael Jackson's pedophilia trial. Here is how they appear now:

I must say they are lookin' GOOD, and dressed to the nines. I always wondered why Philip Bailey (the middle one) did not have a bigger solo career after he teamed with Phil Collins on the mega-hit "Easy Lover" . Well, now I think I know: this is the kind of album art he went for  back in the day:

Silver lame' pleated pants tucked into scrunchy boots was never a good look no matter how cute you were - I'm just sayin'....plus the prancing pixie pose does VERY little for me.

Celadon - or wilted celery?

Poor Evangeline Lilly - considering the kick-ass hot chick on the lam from the law she plays on "Lost", she look positively wan in this wallfower of a dress. The style is halfway decent but this color makes her look like she's auditioning for  the lead in "Camille". My prescription : pound down some iron pills and avoid wearing seasick green.

Awwww....

...isn't that sweet - Star Jones and her little yip dog are wearing matching purple outfits and matching bling! The pooch looks less than thrilled - how much you wanna bet somebody's dyed-to-match pumps get shredded when Mommy is at work tomorrow?

Event Horizon

What event does Jane Alexander think she is attending? She is dressed like Bette Davis in Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte. Did someone jilt poor Jane at the altar and she's wandering around for the next fifty years in her bedraggled wedding dress, forever hoping for the runaway groom to show up? Word up honey - he ain't coming and you can go home and change now.

I've just seen a Ghost!

Jennifer Love Hewitt, fresh from the movie (sorry, her new SERIES)  "Ghost Whisperer", appears to be wearing the frazzled feathers of a thousand electrocuted ravens. Just too overwhelming for such a tiny girl, and frankly, I can't imagine who it would look good on. Whoever designed this should be sentenced to plucking chickens for KFC - it could hardly be any more cruel than this look.

Halle rules!

She just ALWAYS look good. I cannot begin to express how much I hate her... just kidding! I just want to be her - minus the lousy husbands.

Ahhhhh... Halle. Yes!

Gorgeous color, gorgeous line, gorgeous smile, naked neck, wrist bling. The woman KNOWS how to work it.

Sure, it's a little Esther Williams, especially compared with some of the oh-so-serious GOWNage this year. But wow wow wow - does she look as gorgeous as evah, and the dress does nothin else but show it OFF.