You thought you were safe, that it was all over....pity the fool who thinks we have forgotten the dregs of the Spring '06 collections! We are BACK with more cornea-corroding work by bad designers! You know you want it.....
This festive ensemble is from the innocuously named Heatherette label, but do not be fooled. The "talent" behind this label is pure evil. Many things puzzle me about this one, including the Manta ray hat and the hideous appliqued plastic flowers from Aunt Edna's tissue box cover in the powder room - you know, the one that you hated to use when you went to visit her as a child because the dusty layers of talcum and cheap cologne on everything made you sneeze? However, I am most mystified by the "socks" under the pumps that seem to exist only to match the surgical-looking gloves. Not to mention - aqua lame' !! Ooh la la!
This one is wrong in so many ways, and odd as well. The proportions are just plain awkward,and I cannot think of a body this outfit would flatter, no matter how perfect. It is about as sexless as anything that is not a burqa can be, to boot. Gotta love the glazed expression and the loaf of bread she is wearing on her head.
Now what have we here - I think it's supposed to look fetching, but it's too creepy for that - with GIANT POLKA DOTS and a GIANT BANANA PURSE!?!?! I cannot think of a less flattering coiffure either. If Betty Grable were a zombie she would look like this.
This bizarro take on the schoolgirl look makes me glad I am too old to matriculate. Shrunken cardigan sweater? Check. Too-short skirt that looks like a droopy slip? Check. Aggressively ugly orange lunchbox handbag? Check. Fetish knee-highs that send up little girls' party socks? Check. We give this one a big fat "F".
This looks like a Sex in the City homage gone badly wrong. For one thing, making Sarah Jessica Parker a fashion icon is a dubious idea at best. For another, even style-challenged Carrie Bradshaw would NEVAH ruin the look of a perfectly good pair of stilettos with those strange little socks. And what is that waterfall of tawdry gewgaws spilling down the front of her dress? Has she been shoplifting at Wal-Mart and couldn't find a place to stash the loot?
This is another "hmmmm" number - as in: "hmmmm, WTF were they thinking?! Another "dress" with Goodwill bargain bin items cascading down the front, along with a disco ball for a purse and a shorty trench that's so shiny it looks as though it's made of tinfoil. Must be Saturday night, 'cause looking at this gives me a fever, and not in a good way.
Here is the clincher from this show, featuring my all-time favorite bad fashion statement - the GIANT BOW! Does anyone know, in the name of all that is good and holy, what the hell this garment is called? Is it supposed to be a dress? It looks like Salvador Dali's pincushion. To complete the look, it's those weird little socks again, and gargantuan Barbara Bush oversized pearls. Clearly, the people behind this label have gone out of their collective little minds. So tragic. So young, so full of promise....then, the abyss yawned before them, and they fell right in. If I had been there, I would have pushed.
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